I have been off work for just over a week, with back problems. Some of you may remember I had a spinal fusion in February 2006, after suffering for 3 years with sever back pain. In 2007 I ran a 5k race for charity, the first time in a very long time that I was able to do any kind of exercise of that intensity (well for me anyways!). I gained a lot of weight after my operation as well, which hasn't been easy to loose, near impossible, to be honest!
I have been self employed since I returned to England in 1996. I retirned to Newcastle and set up a successful Interior Design business. I have been a WAHM for the past 8 years, and decided it was time to actually go out and get a job. And I did just that, and I have really enjoyed my TA job. I started work on 18th March and barely 4 months down the road I hit this great big wall, and I am devastated, I am bored, I am depressed, I am totally fed up! I am supposed to go back to the doctors tomorrow and a part of me thinks, don't bother I need to go back to work, for my sanity if nothing else, then the other part of me knows the pain I am in, and if i take the tablets the Dr has given me, well i cant drive, speak or do anything except sleep!
I am in such a catch 22, i hate it......
edited to add: My hospital appt has come through to see the spine Dr!! on the 27th :)
Now to my weight!!! Gggrrrrrr. I am a typical roller coaster when it comes to my weight. I have never been a trim size 10, always a neat 14, and an occasional size 12 , (but always a 12 when it comes to Wallis though, gotta love the larger cut sizes of Wallis!) Then I become a mum and piled on 4 stone, not a pretty sight. A photo at Christmas 2000, has me running to Weight Watchers and signing up to my nearest gym, and 11 months later I am 4 stone less and a gold member. 2003 comes along and Lilly is born, piled on the weight, snap my 5th lumber, and the weight drops by a stone only. Move to Cambridgeshire in 2005 weight piles back on, Dad passes away in 2006, weight drops of me, and then we come up to date and I am an overweight mum of 2 and nearly 40!!!. Not the fit and fabulous 40 year old woman I had planned, but a fat and frunpy nearly 40 year old.
Sue sent me a link to this, she said it reminded her of me and how I feel about my body and weight, and she was so right, its me all over....
At the end of the year I hit the big 40, and I don't want to be 40. I want to stay age 26. That's the age I think I still am. The smiling young girl who was a slim size 12, and met my soul mate Peter. Although I still want to be a mum, I want the body and energy of that 26 year old that I was. Do you feel the age you are or younger. i hate that i look at clothes, and then have a reality check, that I am not in my 20's and I am not a size 10, I am actully 39 and a size 16!! I dance around the living room to some 90's house music aka Pete Tong, happy and smiling, until Izzy gives me "that" look. You know the one that says "OMG mum, you are sooo embarrasing".....
At the end of the year I hit the big 40, and I don't want to be 40. I want to stay age 26. That's the age I think I still am. The smiling young girl who was a slim size 12, and met my soul mate Peter. Although I still want to be a mum, I want the body and energy of that 26 year old that I was. Do you feel the age you are or younger. i hate that i look at clothes, and then have a reality check, that I am not in my 20's and I am not a size 10, I am actully 39 and a size 16!! I dance around the living room to some 90's house music aka Pete Tong, happy and smiling, until Izzy gives me "that" look. You know the one that says "OMG mum, you are sooo embarrasing".....
Gee I am such a misery.... If you have read this far I am shocked, LOL.
Beyond my grumpy mood, Izzy has had a sports day and taken part in the year 6 end of production play, singing in the choir/singing club, she tells me off for calling it a choir LOL.
Sports Day was no where as much fun as infant sports day. Too competitive and lots of sitting around. The heavens also opened and we all got drenched!
Lilly cheering Izzy on...
Izzy did managed to take part in the sack race.
Last night she sang in the Year 6, end of year production. photos are too dark and naff, but here is one taken before.
Finally Pencil Lines went live with sketch 142 on Sunday. This weeks guest is the amazing Gudrun, and 3ndypapir sponsored the Dt and is our RAK sponsor for this month. Gudrun and Lene are the talent behind 3ndypapir paper company. Gorgeous fun papers, do check them out.
This afternoon is the infants sports day, and i am looking forward to seeing the fun aspect of sports day and Lilly's smiling face as she runs with an egg and spoon, does the fancy dress race, and battles her way through the obstacle course!
Have a great day, and thanks for stopping by!
Hugs
Anna xx
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