This quote came into my inbox today, and made me think, and think very hard.
“I doubt that we can ever successfully impose values or attitudes or behaviors on our children; certainly not by threat, guilt, or punishment. But I do believe they can be induced through relationships where parents and children are growing together. Such relationships are, I believe, build on trust, example, talk, and caring.”
I love my children to the ends of the earth, no one can question my love for them. It is unconditional. But some days are harder than others, for us all, I know. And some periods in our live are harder.
Izzy and I are going through that stage, and it is not the first time, we are too alike! In fact I watch myself in Izzy daily, I feel her hurt, I feel her pain, I feel her concerns. I watch as she carries a 7 year old worries on her shoulders. I cry with her, I laugh with her, I shout at her, I argue with her. At the end of every day, I cuddle her, I tell her how much I love her, and our cycle begins from the minute she wakes the next day.
It feels never ending, and there are days I dread the years ahead. Will our arguments be more painful, will the tears stain our cheeks more tomorrow, will we shout louder, when will our pain end, will we ever be the best friends I yearn for. When will we go shopping and giggle, try on silly hats, have tea and cake , sing Abba songs at the top of our lungs!? When did a kiss on the cheek at the school gate become annoying. When did I become the enemy?
When will I be able to kiss her again without the hurt I cause, when will we be best friends?
These days will come, and patience is not my strongest point, nor Izzy's. So for today and the day after, i will keep cuddling her, I will tell her every day how much I Love her, and I will look forward to the day we wake and we are best friends, mother and daughter, once again.
I love you Izzy with all my heart
Mummy xxxxx
Posts
Bless you both, whoever said parenting was easy? Perhaps she just needs you to be her mum - she already has best friends?! She knows you love her hun xxx
not izzy or anyone else can deny the love yu have for your children, i have been there since the day they were born and she and lilly both know your love runs as deep as an ocean, just always be there doing what you do best, love them for who they are, your angels xxxx
Oh hunny, I know exactly where you are coming from ,and totally understand. You are doing a wonderful job with both girls, and anyone can see how much you love them. Don't worry she'll be your best friend one day. I put my Mum through it ALOT when I was younger, and as you know we are best friends now. Be patient, and love her, you can do no more xxxx
i DON'T HAVE A DAUGHTER, BUT INSTEAD TWO BEAUTIFUL SONS, (YOU MET THEM ON A GOOD DAY!) I HAVE EXACTLY THE SAME BATTLES WITH THOMAS (9), HIS HORMONES ARE RACING, AND MINE TOO.
I TOO KISS AND CUDDLE HIM EACH NIGHT WAITING FOR THE NEXT DAY TO INCLUDE LESS CONFRONTATION, AND LESS SHOUTING........ I AM SURE THE DAY WILL COME, BUT NOT JUST YET.
HANG IN THERE, I AM SURE THEY KNOW WE LOVE THEM DEARLY, AFTER ALL THAT IS WHY THEY TEST US SO MUCH???!!!!
i BET WE WERE JUST THE SAME AT THEIR AGE???!!!??? I DREAD TO THINK
LOOKING FORWARD TO PHOTO'S NEXT MONTH.
TAKE CARE
HELEN
Oh hun,I'm sorry things are so tough are the moment :( See you tomorrow for a girly chat and a hug xx
It brought tears to my eyes reading how you feel. Being a mum is a hard job and kids can be awful and hurtful, with or without intention. Girls are hard and complex and independent and a whole list of other things. But one day you will gain her friendship again.
Annie
Anna I feel your pain Hun. As Sandie has already said she did put me through alot when she was young but we never stopped loving each other and today the love is stronger than ever. We are Mother and Daughter but best friends too.
Hi Anna, don't be so hard on yourself - you're not alone, we all have days like this. A few months ago I thought I was loosing Lucy but boy she's come back with so much love to give. 3 girls in one house - all those hormones coming at once - there's bound to be fireworks.
Sending you big hugs
Dawn x
oh Anna...this is what I'm feeling with Neha right this moment :( Hang in there...
wow!!! it's like you've written out one my days with my Izzy...
must be that age... and we thought three was the independant stage... :)
Oh Anna... been there, done this and well worn out the t shirt love. It is hard to be a mum - of girls especially - and I know, I've got three of my own. Even Vin, my youngest, and up to now the perfect kid is testing me at 16... But I know with love you'll come through. Hang in there girlie. All will be well.
jk xxx
I so totally understand you, and I think every parent will. We all have our callenges parenting our children... You are not alone.
I'm sure that you are the best mom Izzy could ever have.
Have a great weekend
xoxo
O
Hi, you don't know me, I just stumbled across your blog. I have a 9 year old girl, about to turn 10, and she decided when she was 8 it was no longer cool for me to give her a kiss when I dropped her at school either.
I now give her a hug and a High Five and this seems to be acceptable! And she's still fine about kisses at home, so it's a compromise.
We're going through a real stage of her shouting at me that I hate her and so on, it really gets my goat but I am trying not to react or let it get to me. I am pretty sure we'll come good eventually and I know it's all related to her worries about growing up.
Anyway, not much advice but hopefully some empathy!